


What I Would Do To Save You

by Languid_Victorian_Poetess



Series: How To Fall In Love [2]
Category: Original Work
Genre: Alternate Universe - Soulmates, Angst, Angst and Tragedy, Character Death, Established Relationship, F/M, Original Character Death(s), Romantic Soulmates, anything can be angst if you know what you're doing, give me a fluffy au and i will destroy it
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-02
Updated: 2020-10-02
Packaged: 2021-03-07 20:01:47
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,098
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26763277
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Languid_Victorian_Poetess/pseuds/Languid_Victorian_Poetess
Summary: A single kiss from your soulmate can change everything. Leo thought that was a risk he'd never have to take until he isn't given another choice.
Relationships: Original Female Character/Original Male Character
Series: How To Fall In Love [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1941769
Kudos: 4





	What I Would Do To Save You

**Author's Note:**

> I was thinking about a twist on the Soulmate AU idea and here we are! A quick note: this particular au is like an au of my soulmate universe. The rules of this fic and this universe don't apply to the other ones, but this is under the soulmate umbrella, so here it is. Jez and Leo explain it but the short of this concept is: after you and your soulmate kiss, your lives reset from the beginning.
> 
> I just like angst and hurting my characters. You can thank my friend, I asked her to pick between Jez and Leo without context and she picked Jez... of course she didn't know that's who I was planning to murder. 
> 
> Anyway, please enjoy yet another angsty fic because I can and this is how I yearn.

“I know a shortcut,” she’d said and taken him by the hand. Leo’s gut clenched as she led him into an alleyway. Something was wrong, his instincts said and he thought about telling Jezabel that he had a bad feeling. She squeezed his hand hard and he thought that maybe, she already knew. Then, in a single motion, she smiled, released his hand, and pushed him down beside a dumpster. 

Her hands were already on her gun, he noticed. The world was spinning in slow motion. Every second might have been a year. Her knuckles were white against the black casing and she drew the weapon in a breath, thumb clicking off the safety, finger on the trigger. There was a quick hail of shots and Leo covered his ears, watching as his soulmate pointed her gun first to the end of the alley, then above, then to the escape route. Her back was still to him, the black of her leather jacket made her fierce. 

She lowered her arms and the world caught back up to them at a normal speed. With one hand, she slid the gun back into its holster, her other arm wrapping around her waist. “Leo, please tell me you’re okay,” she said and her dark eyes like the bottom of a whiskey bottle burned in the waning afternoon light. Sweat clung in beads to her forehead, long black hair sticking to her face, the rest pulled back into her usual messy ponytail. Her mouth was contorted into a smirk that didn’t look right, like she was holding something back. She was still standing over him, fierce, powerful, always ahead.

“ ‘M okay.” He said and slowly got to his feet. Her arm hadn’t moved and as his gaze drifted to the planes of her stomach, she swayed. He lunged forward in time to catch her, feeling her body crumple right into his arms. Fear lurched into his throat and he saw the blood she’d been trying to hide. “Jez? Jez!”

Her eyes fluttered, open and shut, and they sank to the ground slowly together. She was in his lap, propped up in the crook of his arms, her head sagging against his chest. He covered her hand against her wound and applied pressure that made her hiss. “Leo,” she murmured his name.

“C’mon Jez, talk ta me. Open your eyes.” His voice sounded so desperate, as desperate as the blood between his fingers, staining her dark shirt. It must have hurt, but she’d survive, she had to survive. She always survived, just with a few more scars. “Please, Jez, don’t leave me.”

She must have heard him pleading because her eyes opened again, though they were glassy. “Hey there, stranger,” she managed to slip in the beginnings of a smirk, though the corners twisted in pain. Leo wondered if she’d been shot more than once. “Careful, I’ll ruin your shirt and jacket.”

It was enough to trick him into a half-laugh, strangled and choked. Of course she’d be cracking jokes at time like this.

Her eyes widened suddenly. “You shouldn’t be here, the cops are coming.” She panted, like every word was an effort to drag out of her mouth. “You can’t be seen with me. You have to go.”

“No, I won’t leave ya.” His metal hand, the one not covering her wound, caressed her cheek and cradled her face. Her ferocity had faded, her eyes a dull sheen that she was trying to hide with a horrible watery smile. He was used to seeing her covered with blood. But not like this. Never like this.

“You’ll get caught,” she said. She removed the hand keeping pressure on her wound and twisted their fingers together.

“Jez-”

“I’m bleeding out anyway.” She squeezed his hand hard. “One in the stomach, one in the side, one in the leg.”

“I can getcha to a hospital, I’ll carry ya, it’ll be-”

“Leo.” She said it gravely and blinked as his tears splashed onto her cheeks. They rubbed away at the faint splatter of blood on her face. “I won’t make it.”

“Please Jez, let me try-”

“No. Look, if you won’t leave me to die here then… then I want my last moments to be with you.”

“Jez,” it came out a heart wrenching sob. His tears fell faster and her blood oozed between their joined hands. It was worse, her dying in his arms. Nothing he could do to save her. In some ways, it had been easier with Arthur. There was no powerlessness that came with a letter of the deed already done.

“I’m so sorry,” she whispered and then she was crying too. His beautiful, strong wife was crying, her face tilted into his shirt. “I promised you wouldn’t lose me and…”

“Why’d ya do it?” He leaned down, pressed his forehead gently to hers. There was supposed to be anger in the question. There was only heartbreak, the bullets under her skin festering in his heart. He was bleeding out too. Just slower.

“It’s easier to protect someone, if you’re ahead.” Her voice caught. There was something stirring and fading in her eyes. He could feel her slipping away, her breaths rattling her chest. Still, Jezabel managed to crack something like a smile, even if it was momentary. “Easier to protect you.” 

“I…” the words floundered and died in his mouth. Their noses brushed. Leo let his eyes slide to her lips. “Can I kiss ya?”

She jerked back, as though she’d realized how close they’d gotten. “Are you crazy?” 

“It could work!” Leo insisted, the tears thick on his cheeks. Her brown eyes were drilling holes into his head like she thought he was insane. Maybe he was. “The stories are true, ya know they’re true.”  _ They have to be _ . 

“They’re not real, Leo. You can’t just kiss the person you think is your soulmate and expect both of your li- _ our _ lives to reset. There’s no magic button to go back to the beginning. We don’t get a redo.” She’d scrunched her nose and shudders ran up and down her skin. Her hand was growing cold in his. She was running out of time.

“I can save ya,” Leo replied, but it sounded weak to his own ears. He was begging her. His future without her seemed to be reflected in her blood: the grave he was sure not to leave, the endless bottles of her favorite whiskey on his lips so he could taste her one last time, his haggard appearance in the mirror of sunken green eyes, greasy blonde hair, sallow skin clinging to his cheeks. The persisting thought that he could have tried and didn’t. There was something worse in the unknown.

But he knew what he was asking too.  _ A do-over wouldn’t fix everything _ , she’d said one night. The stars had blanketed them overhead. They’d been on their backs, letting the expanse of the universe swallow them in the quiet.  _ It could end worse, if I tried again _ .

The graves of her family seemed to sprawl before him on a field of black. Her desperate screams as she thrashed in his arms, in the throes of another nightmare. The way magnolia blossoms made her sick and the shock of red hair in a crowd left her shaking. He was asking her to go through it all again. Leo wanted to bite the question back, almost as desperately as he wanted her to say yes.

Her breath hitched and he prepared for her refusal. “Things might be different,” her voice cracked. Her free hand rose to his cheek and he felt her leave a bloody smear across his skin. “You’re asking me to risk never seeing you again.” She swallowed thickly and he watched her throat bob, her lips thin. “We might never meet.”

“The stories say different. I’ll dream of ya and ya might dream of me.” Or, at least that was what the letters and journals promised by those who swore they’d tried. A kiss from their soulmate and they’d gotten to do it all over again. Promises of dreams of their old lives, fragmented messages, connected heart strings. It had to work. All of those people couldn’t be wrong, could they? “I promised ya across the universe. I’ll find ya, Jez, across  _ every  _ universe.” 

“You might not recognize me,” she said quietly and coughed. Blood bubbled against her mouth. He willed her to agree, pleaded with her with his eyes and his tears that hadn’t begun to slow. “You could be happy with Arthur.” A pause and her hand twisted in his shirt as she let out a faint groan. “It might not work. Arthur could have been your soulmate.” Another labored breath. “Leo, we don’t even know what will happen. Where or when we’ll end up. It might not work.”

Arthur who he’d never had the chance to kiss, who he’d never had the chance to save. Who hadn’t died in his arms, but died in that fateful message. The message he might never receive. The man he might never meet. All for one more chance at forever with his wife.  _ I would suffer through every minute again to be here, like this, with you. _ She’d said once after a nightmare. Her heart had raced against his chest, tears still drying on her cheeks, moonlight slicing hard shapes against her frame. She’d looked so serious. 

_ What ‘bout that year when we were just friends?  _ He’d teased and she’d rolled her eyes. The moment had broken.

_ That too. _

“We have ta try. Jez, I promise, I’ll find ya.” 

She exhaled and he could see the gears turning in that beautiful mind of hers. She was weighing it, the cost, the price, the risk. Her eyes closed and then opened. A phantom of a smirk flickered across her mouth. “Not if I find you first.”

There was no hesitation in what came next. He leaned in slowly and the instant before their lips touched, she stopped him with a quick twist of her head. His lips graced her cheek instead, as they’d done a thousand times before. “Wait, I love you. Across the universe and back.”

“I love ya too. Across  _ every  _ universe and back.”

“Right…” Her breath was labored and he discreetly pressed two fingers against her wrist. Her pulse was weak. She was fading. It was now or never. “Across  _ every _ … universe and back.” Their gazes met, as if they were memorizing each other’s features for the last time, beneath the blood and grief of the moment. This had to work.

Leo dropped his forehead to hers and drew in a breath. She strained forward and her lips barely brushed his. He responded on instinct, holding her closer as their lips touched and dissolved into a kiss. Their first, even in seven years of marriage. She tasted like salt, the metallic copper of blood, the faint burn of alcohol. Probably whiskey. She liked to spike her coffee.

He kept his eyes closed, kept her pressed to his chest, felt her mouth move against his. He offered up his air, felt their tears mingle, a torrent of rain explode overhead. He was drowning. They were drowning. She let go.

He opened his eyes and was met with the endlessness of the sea. His arms were empty. A name floated on the horizon, a setting sun on cresting waves. He swam up, up, up, head breaking the surface, someone’s name on his tongue, he was supposed to be looking for them. The word eluded him and he let out a strangled cry that was met with silence. A wave crashed over him. 

Leo’s eyes snapped open, a lingering shout still in the air. It had a shape, a syllable he didn’t understand.  _ Jez _ . He blinked the last of sleep from his eyes and rolled out of bed, letting the strange dream slip through his fingers that, for a moment, he could have sworn were covered with blood. The echoes reached him, distant, beyond his grasp. They lingered, an old heartache, a breathless laugh, a glimpse of dark coffee eyes. They remained. His hand itched, then some thought in his head did too, and he grabbed an old receipt and a dying pen. He scribbled it out.  _ Across every universe _ stared back at him like it had a meaning.

But it was nothing, so he did what was right  **_(_ ** and yet somehow unimaginable **_)_ ** . He let it go. The receipt fell to the floor, forgotten. Like the fragments of a life he’d never gotten to live.

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading! (I'm sure I'll get back to fluff eventually... Or never...)


End file.
